Sunday, June 27, 2010
Mother
Mother
You have so many faces
You make me laugh
You make me cry
You make me frustrated
And sometimes, you just really are so funny.
You have so many faces
You make me laugh
You make me cry
You make me frustrated
And sometimes, you just really are so funny.
You know of moments when you laugh inside of yourself, like not in a crazy mental way, but when you think of something funny and relive the moment, and you remember what made it funny in the first place? Some crazy happy chemical inside of you just gets unleashed and you feel so good and so happy that it almost seems like you're crazy. And I just said that laughing inside of yourself is not in a crazy mental way. Well, you get what I mean.
So that get's unleashed when I walk around in my head, decide to open the old thought cabinet where I store my memories and I take 'em out and like Dumbledore, just plunge myself back into the moment when it happened. I had one of those moments today while cooking. My mom, the coolest, naggy, angry, crazy, nice, most insane mom on the planet decided to do "the boyfriend talk" with me.
First of all I'm thankful, wow, that she's finally getting to it. She really must care huh? She goes on about how I need that support and I'm going, "No no!! Why must I be dependent on someone?". You know, when you've been brought up all your life to think independently, it's hard to accept that that very same person who made me... well, me, is telling me to go and find someone to depend on. Ironic? Well at that point people, we were in the middle of making dumplings. So I had "the boyfriend talk" while cooking. Funny. And real discreet.
Here's the best part. When I was 12 and entering another school, she was going crazy on me, telling me I'd "better concentrate on my studies and don't go and find a boyfriend!". Clearly, clearly that was not a problem with me, giving my current marital status. I have never found the need to depend on someone else. I'm my own person's person. I'm my own secretary, manager, cook, cleaner, nanny, I even entertain myself. So mom telling me to go and "get a guy", not working for me right now and I can say, in the near future.
I know this probably doesn't sound that funny because I'm typing it, but it makes me laugh inside. And it's interesting, that my mom is this type of person. I feel like I'm going to get more laughs in the future. And I'm going to do that crazy thing, laughing inside, and I'm going to feel happy, and I'm going to laugh some more, and I'm going to laugh, feel happy, laugh, feel happy, and repeat that.
There are so many things that I feel like I don't have, or I've been deprived of, but I know I'm much better off than a whole lot of other people. I'm thankful, I'm so thankful. I get angry sometimes but I'm still thankful.
p.s. Oh, and did I mention, I think the reason she did "the boyfriend talk" with me, is because my cousin is getting married. Thanks alot mom! And yes I know, and I know as well. I get it. Okay. Now, that's over.
Mr Darcy: You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you.
5:16 PM.
5:16 PM.