Thursday, April 30, 2009
Result Of A Very Nice Conversation

How do I explain the smile I have? An upward curve of the lips? A dorky-looking thing on my face?

Well y'all. Someone just made my day. Someone drew a circle, put some orange in it, drew some clouds, drew some birds and bees and flowers. Probably drew some sushi too. I feel great! And thank you, for the exclamation points.

Today I had a conversation about ambition, emotions, life. It was great. I got to talk about what I wanted to do. I also thought about the person I'd become, the person I was, the person I was becoming. We're in a constant state of change. Some changes for the better, some for the worst.

I came out of this conversation feeling a whole barrel of emotions. It's more accurate to say that I came out with a dose of reality. I see my dreams more clearly, I also see the problems from my dreams. That's a good thing to figure out now rather than later.

Someone told me their dream. Compared to other "big" dreams, society would grade it "small". But you know what, society don't matter. They can scorn you and put you down, but what matters is that you're happy. What can be worse than to live a life defined by society as "the best". I can imagine one who is affected to that extent cannot be living his best life. One would have to have all the cool gadgets and memberships and social circles. That just makes a person selfish, conceited and materialistic. The result of corruption.

I don't have to have it all. I already have so much. Sometimes I'm not thankful enough. I look around and so many people are struggling. It feels a little sad but I'll keep the faith. They'll figure it out someday.

For all the hurt and the pain, He knows. Don't give up.

Sunday, April 26, 2009
Terms and Conditions

I was out today and I while eating, I noticed a display promoting some discount. Something about, "Get 4%* off."

There's always a catch; the extra asterisk at the back. I wonder why people can't be nice and take away the extra condition. That would make the world a better place won't it? To just accept everyone no matter what. Unfortunately, that's not the case.

Even in life, we come with a lot of terms and conditions. So I thought. If I came with an asterisk, what would my T&Cs be?

I thought about this for a while. Really, it's not easy to come up with something like that so easily. I'm just going to group everything into two lists.


I can live with,

• people
• money
• sports
• music

I think loads of people live like me too. I can write about a lot of things that I dislike or like. But I'm just writing about what I can live with. I haven't gotten to the without part.

See I think when anything happens, the things you can't live without are more important than the things that you can live with. You can't live without water but you can live without money. So now, I have my without list.

I can't live without,

• God

This probably is hard to understand, especially for the non-believers out there. I might sound crazy to y'all. But it's true. That's me. I can't live without God. I can live without music (which I'm very attached to), my friends, money. Everyday I realise how much more dependent I am upon Him.

The other day I was watching a drama. The female character asked another character, "So, do you believe in love?" I was going yeah! As I grow older, I begin to realise so many things, and one of those things is that, yes, love really exists. Of course people deny love for many reasons. Money, status, fame, or simply because they've just been hurt so much they don't want to admit this existence. Like I wrote before. God is love. How can I not believe in love if I believe in God?

I come to my conclusion. My asterisk represents Love. Yeah I'm putting it in caps cause it's important. I'm curious. All the people out there? What's your asterisk mean?

Thursday, April 23, 2009
The List That I Don't Need

Tuesday, April 21, 2009
The World That We Live In

Hey guys!

I was in the shower earlier on and I was just singing some songs. Then suddenly I thought, what am I saying? The lyrics weren't that clean. I wasn't singing some sick songs, just normal pop songs that are in right now.

Is that all we've become? The whole earth listening to songs about sex?! You know most times I play the guitar and I sing along. The music and lyrics just blended in together. I didn't even realise what I was singing. I was just concentrating on the tunes. Just check out the lyrics of some popular songs, they don't exactly suggest very moral things.

See that's the problem with us now. We're singing these types of songs, we might not pay attention to the lyrics. But subconsciously, we're accepting that these actions that the lyrics speak of are right. We keep singing and saying these immoral things and now you get kids who think pre-marital sex is alright, that living with your partner before marriage is alright.

We ask ourselves why the rates of abortion in teenage girls are so high, why the figures for STDs are going up. We think we have measures to prevent these stuff. Things like sex education and stuff like the morning-after pill. What we don't realise is that prevention is better than cure. You provide the measures, but we're not preventing the problem.

So what I'm trying to say is, for any of y'all who wanna write songs and make music. Please be responsible and keep it clean. There are a thousand things in the world to write about, why go the same way as others and write about the same thing. We're suppose to be smart people, so get creative!

Friday, April 17, 2009
My Ideal Holiday

Good morning!

I was talking to my mom just a couple minutes ago, and I was telling her that I saw some articles in the papers about really nice island getaways. So I said I wanted to go and she went, "Yeah, they're nice."

I thought I'd share some thoughts regarding that. I know it's not really holiday season yet but it doesn't hurt if I talk about it now. Besides, people have been asking me about holidays and travelling recently (we're a pampered bunch of kids we are).

Okay so for me, I have a list, sort of requirements I guess. Check this out.

• Must have a nice beach
• Must have a nice hotel
• Must have a modern shopping mall
• Must be at least 4 days long
• Must get there by plane

This is the "other part" of the list.

• No coaches
• No mouldy cultural place (I'm no culture buff, I'm a modern kid)
• No tour packages (I'm sick of being dragged around in Singapore, not on a holiday too!)

So this is pretty much it. I might have a few more points here and there later on. But this is what I can come up with offhand. I think this is the first post I actually might encourage my parents to read.

Thursday, April 16, 2009
Promises

People always make them and then break them. Course there are some people who really keep 'em. But I'm just saying people in general. I mean, the excitement of knowing something some other person doesn't know about, just makes you want to tell them all the more.

Some people always try to put smart phrases on msn; I guess to seem cool to all the other people floating online there. See I do read msn nicknames sometimes so once in a while I'd chance upon a "smart" phrase like, "Promises are just little ugly things with ribbons tied around them." Hmm.

I mentioned before that I was cleaning up my everything. Today, as of this moment, and yes, in the wee hours of this morning, I wanna tell you that I did a big cleanup again. Did I emphasize that enough? No now I mean BIG, REALLY BIG. It's something that I'd been sitting on for a long long time and I decided that I didn't like it. It's also something several people have been sitting on. So today, right now, after more cleaning, I'm better.

So anyway, about the phrase earlier, I would guess that the person who actually wrote it or people who put it as their nicknames, have had their promises broken or felt betrayed by someone who promised. It's probably retaliation for all the hurt and to tell everyone out there that you're the coolest person on earth cause you finally experienced what a broken promise feels like.

I'm cool with that. But today, I wanna say that I've found a person who will keep all my promises and who will keep yours too, if you just ask. I've known this fact for a long time but today it just seems more true than other times. I am so thankful. Best thing is that he don't put you on hold. I can just talk to him anytime I want.

So guys, you know who I'm talking about. Just ask.

Sunday, April 12, 2009
Cleaning Up

Hello from a nicer looking room!

I was bitten by the organising bug late last night. I'm not a very neat person but sometimes (and the sometimes my mom wishes I have more often) I just start cleaning stuff everywhere.

From late last year, I knew I wanted to organise my life. The mental, spiritual and physical aspects were all messed up. Well I got started on the spiritual part and the mental just fell into place. The last of the physical cleanup was done yesterday.

I feel so much better in a neater environment and as a whole person. The past few months, I struggled with myself and everything else. So much relief that all those episodes are over!

I'm a miracle in progress. World, come at me!

Saturday, April 11, 2009
How Do You Explain Why You Love Someone?

Hello guys!

The past few days have been eventful. I saw a whole array of human feelings and reactions and most importantly, I saw new life.

Someone asked me to explain why I loved them. Honestly I can say a thousand things about their good points and their person. But I can never pinpoint the exact reason. Maybe its the way they act and their genuineness. But as I'm thinking about this now, I realise that, maybe, that's what love is all about right? Isn't it about just unconditionally understanding and accepting the person next to you whatever the circumstances.

I have a theory. A theory to explain why love is so often discussed, given so many meanings by so many people and used till it becomes a cliche but that nobody can ever write down the true meaning of love. Just ask anyone how they love their spouses. You'd probably hear reasons like how they loved them so much they gave up an organ for them or you'd hear that they probably gave up their house, their savings just for that one person. But go ask them again, what is love? I don't think you'd get the same answers from before. I was stumped too.

So I think about it and again I realise, that giving up an organ or material posessions do not define love. That's just an act out of love, the result of love. That does not define love. So what is it? What's this word about? This word that has been mentioned in countless songs, in countless writings and articles, from countless lips.

I came up with a reason. You can't define love. You don't. From a religious angle. God is love. If we can't explain what God is. How can we explain love? So whatever reasons I gave on how I define love. That's just my way of explaining. We never know what is love but we know how to love someone. It's inadequate and I know this meagre meaning is the best I can put down in words. I know I will discover other ways to love as time goes by. But for now, this is it.

Thursday, April 9, 2009
From the past...and now

Hey guys.

Ever had moments of nostalgia when you hear a song playing or look at some particular objects? Well I do.

Sometimes I hear a song playing and I'd think; this reminds me of the time when I was in Sec 4, or this reminds me of the time when I first started working. I don't know if its just me. But everytime I remember, I forget too. Sounds confusing but the logic is, I remember only some parts of that period and everytime I reminisce I recall less than the previous reflection. I think this must be because more time has passed and thus naturally I remember less.

As I grow older I begin to wish that I can actually archive all my actions and thoughts so I can look back in the future. At times special moments occur and then I'd think, will I remember this place, the people here, our actions and what we talked about say, five years from now?

I guess that's why I want to live for the moment, so I don't have regrets to remember. I want to cherish everyone around me every single day. This is why I don't like buying birthday presents all the time. I believe that you don't need an occasion to give something to somebody. You should love them everyday. I'm still learning and it's easy to get so caught up; I forget to appreciate the people around me.

Then I am so thankful, that I still have things to remind me what made everything so special in the first place.

Monday, April 6, 2009
How People Affect People

There's a person. I've known for a while. Everytime we meet, we bond more. Our actions affect each other and we care for one another.

But one day that person. Became sad and unhappy over some things. I became sad and unhappy too. And worried. This is new to me. I'd never been so close to someone in so different a stage of life from me. I never thought we would ever have such a close relationship. It feels terrible to know that that person is going through so much, that people want so much from that person, that that person has to give so much, even to me. I wish I could help.

I can never thank that person enough for saving my life forever. For caring about the smallest things and my thoughts and my feelings. Could I ever do that first to someone else? Could I ever extend my helping hand without expecting anything in return? Sometimes I see that person try so hard. When tiredness sets in, still, that person goes on. I can see that person break down right in front of my eyes. I'd wish I could take that person's place instead.

Is this what they call love? To love another person enough to want to sacrifice yourself? Is this God's definition? In that case, I think I love you, Jie.

Don't be sad.

Sunday, April 5, 2009
The importance of good shoes

Like every other sunday, we went to church today. I was in a rush to get out of the house so I didn't put on my sneakers or sports shoes. I just wore sanuks. For all y'all who have no idea what a sanuk is. It's basically a canvas covered shoe with a slipper base, a beach shoe. I had no idea we were going shopping at the mall later, and for so long. We just walked everywhere and after 4 hours, I really knew the definition of agony. The slipper base didn't provide much cushioning after a while. It felt like my whole weight was concentrated on two points of my feet. It didn't help that I was carry shopping bags as well. Now I know how my mom feels when she wears heels. I wanna sit down too!

Friday, April 3, 2009
Check your phones

Today is one of those days when I don't have much thoughts. It feels a little stagnant. You know those days when you just go through a routine and time flies so fast that I'm now looking at the night sky.

It's quiet cause I'm alone at home. Sometimes I find myself having so much time on my hands. But I think tonight's gonna be exciting. You'all know I play the guitar. Music is one of the things I really love. In fact, probably 70% of all my waking hours I'd be listening to a song. I don't have a musical background. Didn't come from one of those families that sent their kids to piano lessons soon as they turned 3. I picked up the guitar late in year '07. Now I can play most moderate level songs. Moderate means not Eric Clapton yet. I'll keep you'all updated when I get there. Anyway this ability to play means I've been playing some songs to people for their birthdays. It's just my way of saying hi and you're remembered and loved.

Tonight, if anyone of you gets a call from me. It's probably your birthday.

p.s. Tomorrow seems exciting too.

Thursday, April 2, 2009
Why I'm broke

Yesterday, I did something surprising. I'm surprised at myself. Some people around me will know that I've been thinking of giving tuition lately. Well yesterday I was at Sak's house and her aunt happened to come by. She's got a kid, primary 3, who needs english tuition. So Sak's mom was telling me this could work out if I wanted to take the job. We all talked for a while and I was thinking, yeah, I could use the extra cash. After all, being a teenager right now isn't exactly a cheap affair. But then after hearing the aunt's side of the story, I just decided that, you know, in life, not everything has to be done for money. Whatever happened to goodwill and love? I always wanted to do something to pass on whatever I got from all the loving people around me. So as it ends up, I now have a kid to teach and guys, I'm still broke.

It feels good to give. I've always been a giver. Have always seemed more happy seeing people's faces light up than if I bought something for myself. Am I a weird person? I'll leave you to think about that.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009
I'm new at this

Hey guys!

I can’t believe I’m doing this.

All this time I never really had a blog. I say really because I had one before that only maybe one person knew about? It was kinda pathetic so I decided to start this instead. Played around a little with the html and I still feel a little lost about this whole thing. But this is a work-in-progress so it will get better in the future hopefully.

Anyway first of all, I need to say a little something right? Alright basically this thing is for me to express myself online, post some pictures and say a little something. I gotta admit I’ve never really liked the idea of communicating online. I always like the idea of doing this face to face and talking face to face and the next best thing is talking on the phone. Even then I don’t like texting cause it just feels so… like it doesn’t have a human touch to it. So naturally online, I don’t chat on MSN much. People get fairly frustrated with me sometimes when I don’t reply on MSN. It’s not that I don’t bother to reply (people who ignore messages, I find them really rude), it’s just that I’m not one of those people who stay online to chat. I’m probably doing something online or watching a show 95% of the time. If not, I’m away from the computer.

Okay. So I hope you guys enjoy reading my blog. You’re not obliged to read it. Just drop by whenever you feel like it. This blog is more of for me to keep track of what I’ve been doing and the fact that it’s public is just another plus. I don’t know, maybe people are actually interested in my life. Whatever it is, the only rule I have here is to have fun. Have fun reading and hopefully I’ll have fun posting. I’ll try to get everything up and going, the links and all. Please be patient with me and I’ll talk to you guys soon!