Monday, April 26, 2010
Monday, not looking forward to Tuesday
I don't know how I'm having time to do this. But, things just come when they come and so when I have to write, I write (rather, type).Today is a Monday. And my final examinations are exactly one week away. Lots of emotions and thoughts running through my mind. I wake up intermittently at night for no reason. My brain feels like a pressure cooker about to explode. I can't do anything without thinking of my work. I have lost the ability to truly enjoy anything and the ability to laugh without any cares. I'm not eating when I'm hungry. I don't get hungry, my stomach just eats itself. You know it's on.
This is a strange feeling. It's called stress. It's like a new thing to me, never felt much for it. But as I grow older, things get serious and everything is a deciding factor for the next situation. No one can really escape studying in Singapore. I was on the wiki and researching for materials and saw a title of a children's book; Treasure Island. I always thought writing children's books were easy. I grew up on Enid Blyton and I always loved the stories of adventure, discovery and everyday life. I heard stories about English childhoods and houses and gardens and climbing trees and boating. It was a stark contrast to life here but that's another story.
So, children's books. Simple storylines, diction, language, no substantial complications. However, a huge amount of imagination allowed to the reader. I would imagine myself in a world where fairies, gnomes, elfs and all other magical creatures exist. I would spend hours reading and re-reading the adventures of The Famous Five and The Secret Seven. I really love those books.
As an adult now, I live in a realist world where everything is anchored and logical and there is no space and time to think otherwise. Meaning, no more fairies, no more adventures. I spend my days doing the same things over and over again. It is a repetitive process totally unlike the adventures I read about.
This me, if you'd ask me to write a book. I would write one talking about and deciphering the complicated things in life. It takes a lot to write a children's book. I think there must be a certain mindset involved. And I really envy and admire those authors, for reaching a stage in their lives where they can take a step back from their own lives and survey the big picture and know everything's going to be okay. To be able to trust enough to let go and go back to one's humble and childish beginnings and ways is such a blessing. I am reminded, that to enter the kingdom of God, one has to be a child. It is such a hard thing to do right now and in the future. I just know that there are so many things that will occur and shake me, shock me and change me. I wonder, will there ever be a point in my life when I am better than I am now, and when I can just lean back and breathe and function like the person I am suppose to be, free of any complex thoughts and theories, and living like the person God intended me to be.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Food! Kitchen!
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(Spaghetti Aglio Olio with Prawns and Oyster Mushrooms)
Does this... make you hungry? Well continue being hungry because... I just finished it! Maybe I should be a cook? You think?