Saturday, August 15, 2009
I Want This For My Birthday!!!

This year, as my birthday approaches, I did some thinking about what it really means.

Sometimes, or rather, most of the time, birthdays generate a big hoo-haa with lots of extravagance. During my secondary school days, it was not unusual to see students lug big bags of presents or a really big soft toy for the birthday boys and girls. The size of the gifts became more and more conspicuous. It felt like a rebellion against all rules and the proclaimation of their liking and fondness for their friends. It became cool to do that and students got bolder and established an unspoken status quo.

There was the period of the mandory "hamburger" and throwing of the (in my opinion) unlucky birthday boy a few metres into the air. People did get hurt. These acts got officially banned after a while but I have to admit that it was fun to watch while it lasted. It was not just the physical things that made an appearance. People threw parties too. There was cake and pizza and everything anyone thought appropriate for a celebration. I felt there was a division among the student population. If you were popular enough, you got a party.

Albeit all the excitement, the parties, the fun, the money; the material, I don't think we knew what we were doing. The meaning of birth, the significance, I can stand here and safely say no one right then knew. Not even me.

This year I realise, a birthday, my birth; my true desire. To be born here, in my circumstance, was not a fluke. I feel like I should be throwing the parties and giving out presents to everyone. I feel like giving the world a hug and saying, "Thank you", from the bottom of my heart. Thank you everyone, for loving me, as I am. For accepting me, for teaching me, for being so patient, for forgiving me.

What is a gift truly? One claimed with money of this world? With what intentions? Very often we give not because it come from us sincerely, but to look good and go with the crowd. Many times we give because someone else gave us a present before and we feel obliged. I did these before. But I'm not going to do it anymore. If you search the dictionary, the definition of give, is "to present voluntarily and without expecting compensation". When I give, I want to give with a pure heart, unexpecting, uncalculating, no strings attached.

It is a given that I do have things I desire, as a human being it is only natural. There are material things and there are other things that only God can give me. For the things that are not material, I will always hope for. It is not important to me if I get a present or a treat, not anymore. I know that the things I want the most are not any worldly belongings. I know that God knows my heart. For everyone else, the best presents everyone can give me, is to stay healthy and strong.

Take care and have a good one!

Monday, August 3, 2009
Jesus Saves. Yes he does!

These few days, I've been thinking of people, stereotypes, people. Not thinking like thinking about what certain people do, or say. But rather, going in deeper and thinking about what makes them tick; what makes them do the things they do, what makes them say certain things, what makes them feel certain emotions. Basically, just asking why.

This topic and thought is very weird and persistent because I have never pursued it in this manner and the repeated recurrence of this thought is too modest to be called coincidental. Thus I conclude, the Lord is prompting me. Maybe somebody needs to read this.

When I think of certain people, I feel different. It is a whole array from pleasure to irate. For some people, it is a kind of sadness I feel. The people whom I know are struggling with themselves and their lives. It stirs up old memories because at some points, I have been there. It is cliche to say that one understands what another is going through. But, at the same time, it is so true and real. When I read and I know in my heart, I pray for them. It is never easy to climb out of a dark tunnel and sometimes one feels that there is no light at all. That is not true.

I look at a person, and I see what they are and I wonder why. But at that moment, realisation hit too. Is a bad person born a bad person? Can one really be a bad person? Are we good people? I don't think anyone wants to feel sin. It feels horrible. Maybe some people will not understand why I said "to feel sin" rather than to do bad things. Sin, is what God says is bad. Doing bad things, is what society says is bad. I choose the Father. To live by his definitions and not mine. To see what is right through his eyes and not the eyes of man. If I want to live for Him, I want to live like Jesus.

People are molded like they are because of what they've been through. They react a certain way because of who they are. It is ridiculous and comical to me when someone is punished for something because the very thought that triggered the action, it was not suppose to happen. Something went wrong somewhere. Things go wrong all the time. I have no idea how the perfect life is suppose to be. But until I reach that beautiful place, I will continue to think.

The higher we climb, the more we achieve, the more money we have; I wonder if these people ever wish to be like the common man. I think the richer we are financially, the poorer we are spiritually and emotionally. Away from the notions that always speak of how impossible it is to have it all. I think there are those select few who really do have it all. It is not easy. Righteousness in God is always faced with temptations and obstacles set by the Devil. But it is very important that we know that there is a path for us, even when our surroundings seem bleak and dark, obscured by ourselves and the worldly affairs of this place.

Sincerely, if there is a person who needs something, I hope that this is your answer, If there is a person who is lost, I hope this is your direction. If there is a person who feels sad. I hope you rejoice because God loves you.