Saturday, August 15, 2009
I Want This For My Birthday!!!

This year, as my birthday approaches, I did some thinking about what it really means.

Sometimes, or rather, most of the time, birthdays generate a big hoo-haa with lots of extravagance. During my secondary school days, it was not unusual to see students lug big bags of presents or a really big soft toy for the birthday boys and girls. The size of the gifts became more and more conspicuous. It felt like a rebellion against all rules and the proclaimation of their liking and fondness for their friends. It became cool to do that and students got bolder and established an unspoken status quo.

There was the period of the mandory "hamburger" and throwing of the (in my opinion) unlucky birthday boy a few metres into the air. People did get hurt. These acts got officially banned after a while but I have to admit that it was fun to watch while it lasted. It was not just the physical things that made an appearance. People threw parties too. There was cake and pizza and everything anyone thought appropriate for a celebration. I felt there was a division among the student population. If you were popular enough, you got a party.

Albeit all the excitement, the parties, the fun, the money; the material, I don't think we knew what we were doing. The meaning of birth, the significance, I can stand here and safely say no one right then knew. Not even me.

This year I realise, a birthday, my birth; my true desire. To be born here, in my circumstance, was not a fluke. I feel like I should be throwing the parties and giving out presents to everyone. I feel like giving the world a hug and saying, "Thank you", from the bottom of my heart. Thank you everyone, for loving me, as I am. For accepting me, for teaching me, for being so patient, for forgiving me.

What is a gift truly? One claimed with money of this world? With what intentions? Very often we give not because it come from us sincerely, but to look good and go with the crowd. Many times we give because someone else gave us a present before and we feel obliged. I did these before. But I'm not going to do it anymore. If you search the dictionary, the definition of give, is "to present voluntarily and without expecting compensation". When I give, I want to give with a pure heart, unexpecting, uncalculating, no strings attached.

It is a given that I do have things I desire, as a human being it is only natural. There are material things and there are other things that only God can give me. For the things that are not material, I will always hope for. It is not important to me if I get a present or a treat, not anymore. I know that the things I want the most are not any worldly belongings. I know that God knows my heart. For everyone else, the best presents everyone can give me, is to stay healthy and strong.

Take care and have a good one!